Fashionably Dead by Robyn Peterman

Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.
 
At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead?

Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator.

To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One.

Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride. 

***

Robyn Peterman has one disturbed mind and I LOVE it! Fashionably Dead, which is currently FREE on Amazon (get it!) is one funny, imaginative, cooky, and at times disturbing read. I finished reading this five minutes ago and I'm still making weird noises in response to the last chapter. Thank goodness I've got the 2nd part because it ends in one hell of a cliffhanger and I need more. More more more!

Here are some random notes I wrote on my kindle app while reading:

• Vampyre sorority!? LOL!
• "All Vamps cry blood, cum blood, drink blood. Blood, blood, blood...it's all about blood with you dead people." ROFLMFAOOOOO
• The lead character screams A LOT.
• "This man could kill me with sex without even fucking me." Favorite line in the entire book.

Side note: I've been reading a lot of interesting characters lately. As a writer, I feel like authors such as Robyn Peterman, and Dakota Cassidy should teach a class on creating memorable characters. 

Short review, but what else can I say about how great this book/series is and how awesome Robyn Peterman is? Maybe if I thought about it long enough I'd come up with some good adjectives, but I rather go read the 2nd part of this book!